How to Apologize

In this episode of THE SAMPLE, Leita Hart-Fanta, CPA shares a simple way to apologize, while building your relationship with your auditee.

Welcome to The Sample, a quick discussion of auditing concepts and terms that will help you do your work. Conducting an audit in accordance with auditing standards is no small feat and I want to support you. We’ll be referring to the GAO, IIA and AICPA literature to bolster our conversations. Let’s get started.

Transcript

In this episode of The Sample, we talk about how to apologize.

You are going to make a mistake with your team members, with your audit client. Maybe you accuse the client of doing something they didn’t really do. Maybe you missed a meeting. Maybe you said something that could be interpreted as a little insulting.

Instead of viewing your mistake as the end of the world and the relationship’s over, it’s actually a great way to build a relationship. It’s an opportunity to strengthen that relationship, if you apologize correctly.

Have you ever heard of the emotional bank account? Stephen R. Covey mentioned it in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He says that you can build the emotional bank account through kindnesses, or you can deplete your account through being dismissive or being selfish. An apology, done well, actually adds to your balance.

A good apology demonstrates that you are self-aware and humble, that you care about their feelings, and that you want to build a relationship with this person. So here is the script and it’s real simple. It’s only got three parts and don’t veer from it. As tempted as you are to veer from it. Do not veer from it.

1. Say, “I apologize.”

2. “I (and then fill in the blank – respect, love, admire, appreciate) you.” Whatever seems to be most appropriate.

3. “Please forgive me now.”

Notice in this, there are no excuses. You can’t say, “Well, you know, I was having a bad day that day,” or “I misunderstood what was going on.” Nope, no excuses at all. Just those three lines. I apologize. I respect you. Please forgive me. And don’t ever, ever, say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Oh my gosh. That’s the worst thing you could say. <laughing>

It’s basically saying, “You are weird, because you feel like this, and you know, you really shouldn’t feel like that.” That’s a shaming kind-of statement, so don’t go there. Then, you have to be ready to listen to how your mistake impacted them, and then apologize again.

Never offer an excuse; do not get engaged in a battle about who’s right. This will build that emotional bank account so high that you could make 10 more mistakes and it still won’t be depleted. Try it. You’ll like it.

Would you like to learn a little bit more about this topic and earn some CPE at the same time? I suggest this bundle – Creating a Productive Auditor & Auditee Relationship. This also will help you with team building. The bundle has a few books and a few videos. It’s enjoyable, with lots of good tips about building a productive relationship with your auditee. Enjoy!

That wraps it up for another episode of The Sample. True to the nature of a sample, we didn’t talk about everything, so you’ve probably got questions. Write to me leita@yellowbook-cpe.com and I’ll do my best to fill in the blanks. Thanks for playing.

For More Info:

Creating a Productive Auditor & Auditee Relationship Bundle